On December 22nd, 2007 I met a certain person in a chat room that one of my, at the time, friends hosted. She seemed like an outspoken kind of person and you could tell she was only but a novice to the online world. After we chatted with each other we decided to take the conversations out of the room. We started to use MSN messenger to chat with each other and I got to know her more and more on a personal level.

Days turned to weeks then a month rolled by in what seemed like a blink of an eye. By this time I had gotten pretty close to her. However soon after I learned that she had just started going out with someone else she had met in the chat rooms. Eventually the guy comes into the chat room that I spend most of my time in. For me, I didn’t get too close to him, it was just a feeling I had.

After a few days, when the room was having an actual conversation about something other than porn or peoples sexual preference, out of nowhere he asked me if I hated him because I wasn’t answering his private messages. I didn’t answer him because I didn’t think I needed to. I didn’t hate the guy or anything; I just didn’t see how answering the question in a crowded room would prove that I didn’t hate him. I’ve been asked that question many times before; some of the people in the room knows me and knows that if I hate someone I would tell them straight up. I didn’t hate him but the way he conversed with us reminded me of many other people I met, people who weren’t what they said they were. It was at this point that that I decided to take a little break from the chat rooms, after a little altercation I had with him, which he turned around and tried to make me look like the bad guy, but it was just me enforcing the rules of the room. However before I took a break one of my friends did a little research on this guy.

A few days later my friend emails me and tells me that the guy actually had a girlfriend already, aside from the girl I had been chatting with. I was pretty shocked at this fact and so I asked one of my friends if they had seen the girl in the chat rooms because she hadn’t been online for some time and they told me that she had gone to Australia to meet this guy. I thought to myself, I was a little too late, and this was where everything started to go downhill.

She had come back and she wasn’t the same happy, delightful, person that she was before she left. This left a giant hole in me. I wanted to help her but at the same time my heart wanted to be with her. After some time passed I finally told her my feelings but I was too late. She told me that she wasn’t looking for someone at the moment and that she would give up on long distance relationships. A million pieces is only a fraction of what my heart became.

We then started to lose touch, instead of spending entire nights chatting with each other it turned to days waiting for a single reply. Now instead of using MSN messenger we started emailing each other which would take up to a week. Those weeks would then turn to months on end. I still remember that first month waiting for an email; it was probably the longest month of my life. After that I told myself I would give up on her. I told myself I still have my entire life to look for someone else. Like the famous quote, there are other fish in the sea. And so she started to drift out of my heart and mind. But as soon as the thought of her moved out of my reach something would happen and then I would be reminded of her again, I would then email her and again those feelings that I had for her would flood back consuming me entirely. This would happen time and time again, as soon as I had almost let her go things would happen and the cycle would happen all over again. This has been going on even to this day.

The latest one was because of Typhoon Morakot. I emailed her to see if she and her family was safe. After waiting a day she replied and told me they were all okay. She had been out of the country so she wasn’t there when it hit. I was so relieved that she replied because I had a friend who had lost an Uncle and Nephew in the typhoon and so I feared for the worst.

So now here I am again, waiting for that next email that could take weeks or even months. Do I regret it, never. But it is hard on me, having these emotions. The problem is that I want to be with her, but if I try anything else I would seem forceful or pushy, which wouldn’t work in my favor. I also don’t want to give up on her entirely.

Many people would tell me to just move on, since it seems unlikely that I would ever have a chance with her. What I have to say is what would you do if the only thing you can think about is the person you love? Would you just forget about them because someone tells you that you’ll never have a chance? What if that person was the only fish you would ever know in that sea?

It’s a little difficult for me to just accept that I’ll never have a chance, mainly for these two reasons, I am an American and I am an Asian. My American, never give up even if you bleed, kind of attitude and my Asian, never let go of the important things, kind of attitude. This is what makes it hard for me to just give up and quit and it is because of these parts of me that lets me see that what I am doing might be all for nothing. But you know what I live my life without regrets, I live my life for the people I care about, and I live my life for the very reason why we are here.

So there you go this is the time I spend and have spent thinking about you. This could be the last moment or just one moment in a long chain, but it’s all the same, because it’s only another look into Chai’s boring life.

The only highlight of the movie was the ever great Robin Shou, or as many people know him Liu Kang from Mortal Kombat. In this movie he played Gen and I have to say that he was probably the only person who matched his character the most. He was probably the only good thing about the movie, since his appearance in the DoA movie and Death Race were disappointments.

So all in all I give this movie a thumbs down and hope that they find someone who can play Ryu well and hope they don’t mess up that Street Fighter movie. So there you go, another look into Chai’s boring life.

The first time I ever entered the Chocobo Ranch I knew immediately that I was going to be able to catch my own Chocobo. I didn’t buy a strategy guide or looked for help anywhere on my first play through, so I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but as soon as I talked to the kids in the ranch I was awe struck. I was finally going to be able to catch my own Chocobo! I was ecstatic and couldn’t contain myself, but I soon realized that I wasn’t going to be able to keep my Chocobo on the first disk so I finally went on with the story line. The whole Chocobo breeding portion of the game doesn’t open up till the second disk but when it did I probably spent more time on Chocobo’s than I did the entire game. Chocobo breeding was the highlight of the game, pending the depressing storyline and trying to get strong enough to down both the weapons, this, racing, and the snowboarding minigame in the gold saucer were the only refuge. I have to say that this is one of a few masterpieces created by Square and had hoped that they would do the same for the next Final Fantasy titles, but, to my dismay, I was let down.

It wasn’t until 2006 that Chocobo Breeding came back to the Final Fantasy franchise in Final Fantasy XI, but the only problem was that the game itself is pay to play and you have to have pre requisites even before you are able to mount a Chocobo, let alone own one. Not only that the mechanic’s behind the Chocobo breeding and raising were vexing and proved almost not worth the month needed to raise it. This is what I believe to be a major speed bump for that particular part of the game. It is however a step in the right direction.

I believe that if there was a Chocobo game, purely for Chocobo breeding and a little free roam/role playing but not a game based on leveling up your character, but rather of your Chocobo, then I can say that the game would be very successful, not only in the Japan, but in the entire world. The reason why Pokemon is so successful is because it plays on the fact that everyone, and I mean everyone, wants to be able to tame a creature, watch it grow, play with it, and ultimately breed it to have better off springs, then repeat the process so that they can all vie to become the best. Pokemon itself is a game that is able to target the hardcore gamers and the casual/non-gamers alike because it is not the player that you level up but rather watching your creatures grow to become stronger. So, in other words, if there was such a game that allowed us to take the ever famous Chocobo, renown throughout the world and forever a part of the Final Fantasy franchise, and let us raise it, battle with it, race with it, breed it, and repeat the process’ within the boundaries of yet another fantastically created, jaw dropping world, in which they are the primary form of transportation, manual labor, and, ultimately, man’s best friend, than it would be a masterpiece that would sweep the world with Chocobo fever.

But all in all it is merely a dream of a wondrous game and a hope that the big game company would stumble upon this little blog entry and be hit with such an idea that it would turn into a full blown massively played online world where millions of people come together to show off their Chocobo’s. So who knows it might already be in the planning stages and this is the first leak of it or maybe not, but I do have to say, Chocobo breeding is a really good idea, if not than a free roam, real time fighting, Pokemon online game. Either one would completely tilt the favor for one company. So kudos to you Square and Nintendo, you’ve created a chance to be on top of the gaming world, if one of these ideas were to take fruit. So sorry Microsoft, good luck to you for not being able to create a game aimed towards the general audience but more towards the shooter type of gamers, not saying a lot of your shooters are a disappointment. Also in my opinion Project Natal, in all its greatness, falls a little short of its competition, Sony’s Magic Wand, but in sad truth the Magic Wand itself falls short to Nintendo’s Wii Mote, since the Wii Mote is and will always be the primary controller for the system.

So there you go another idea of mine and another look into Chai’s boring life.

Also I got a call today from my younger brother, seems he just finished his patrol. He asked me if I would help him make an online gallery for his pictures and whatnot. For those who know me it’s been a long time since I last made a website on my own and it’s been a long time since I did anything with coding so I’m very rusty. So here my thoughts, anyone who knows me, knows web coding, and has the time, would you be willing to help me and my younger brother out. Of course this is isn’t paid work or anything, just need to get this off the ground. So if anyone is interested email me so I know your interested. That’s about all that’s going on with me so there you go, another look into Chai’s boring life.

Also went and watched the new X-Men and I have to say, the action was pretty good but the storyline sucked. They could have done a lot better and at the end with Patrick Stewart, I have to say I love the man, but the green screen and trying to make him look younger… was a big let down. It’s a good movie just not something I would go and re-watch in the theaters.

A highlight however is that I finally watched the first of four specials for Dr. Who, called Planet of the Dead. It was a pretty good special but it made me kind of sad cause it made me realize that David Tennat is about to leave his role as the 10th doctor. I do hope that the other specials are gonna be just as good.

So there you go, another look into Chai’s boring life.